Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China and said, 'We need one of these things around the White House.'

President Bush says now he is sticking to his plan for handing over power to the Iraqis on June 30. It's also part of his plan to hand over power to John Kerry on January 20.

John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.

President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.

I'll be honest with you. It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.'

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.