President Bush says now he is sticking to his plan for handing over power to the Iraqis on June 30. It's also part of his plan to hand over power to John Kerry on January 20.

I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.

I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?

Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.

Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine.

Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.

President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.