John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

Tomorrow is Election Day. It's what they call the midterm elections, and you can cut the indifference with a knife. It's the day Americans leave work early and pretend to vote.

President Obama and his family are spending the holidays in Hawaii, and while they're gone, they got a fence jumper to house sit. Tomorrow, he will be in Hawaii playing golf with Raul Castro and the Pope.

Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel.

Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.

Moammar Gadhafi was found hiding in a storm sewer with a gold-plated gun. That's me in retirement, ladies and gentlemen.