Here in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.

John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush stands for 'Wrong.' But he still can't explain what John Kerry stands for.

Now in Utah if you get the death sentence, they have the firing squad. In Russia, they call that early retirement.

Al Gore has endorsed Howard Dean for president. That's pretty fitting, the guy that didn't beat Bush endorsing the guy who won't beat Bush.

Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.

This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.