Here in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.

President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.

Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.

Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.

George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.

Did you folks see President Bush's State of the Union Address? How about that surprise announcement? Howard Dean has been captured and he's in the hands of interrogators.