Here's a woman, a real pioneer for other women looking for careers in stand-up comedy. And talk about guts - she would come out here and sit in this chair and say some things that were unbelievable - where you would have to swallow pretty hard... but it was hilarious... the force of her comedy was overpowering.

I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?

Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit.

I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

The winner of the Westminster Dog Show gets to drink champagne - out of the toilet.

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'