Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel.

President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate.

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.

Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.

Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he is sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that.