The latest polls show that Arnold Schwarzenegger is trailing Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante in the polls. That's insane. I mean, think about it, this guy Cruz Bustamante has never even been in a movie.

Have you seen a copy of Tax Tips for Billionaires?

Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony, they read hacked Sony emails.

They found a cave once lived in by Osama bin Laden and the only thing in the cave were some boxer undershorts, and macaroni. I'm telling you, you add an old stack of Playboys, this could be my place. It's like I have a twin.

Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.

Scientists have discovered a black hole that is 12 billion times the size of our sun. It's full of Hillary Clinton emails.

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.