I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

CBS News finally received anthrax in the mail. As usual, we're number three.

Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.

My good friend Paul Shaffer and I are going to continue in show business. Next month Paul and I will debut our new act at Caesar's Palace with our white tigers.

I'm nothing if not an optimist.

Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.