Once you're president, you can't go anywhere without causing trouble. President Obama shows up in China, he's chewing gum, they go crazy. A big stink because the president's chewing gum. And you think, the Chinese are so easygoing about human rights. What's the problem?

Tomorrow is our final show. That is unless it rains, and then there will be a rain delay. We'll probably make it up in a doubleheader around Labor Day.

Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.

Because you think an explosion has taken place and you're looking at the shards and you say, 'Well, can we put this back together?' And by God, maybe you can put it back together. And maybe it won't be the same, but maybe it will be different, and maybe it can even be better in a different way.

Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.

Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's house.

Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.