Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.

Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.

Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.

Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife.

Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

Arnold Schwarzenegger got into a huge debate with Arianna Huffington about immigration - going back and forth - finally immigration came in and hauled them both away.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.