Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person.

Due to budget crunches, Bush has had to scale some of the programs. He has a new program, 'Leave A Couple of Kids Behind.'

President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

I don't know what they are protesting at Occupy Wall Street but I'm on their side. But 10,000 protestors and one Porta Potty?

I heard this rumor that al Qaeda is merging with Hamas. Yeah, I got that tip from Martha Stewart.

Now there are reports that Osama bin Laden would like to commit suicide on television. This is the kind of lead-in I have been praying for every since I came to CBS. Bin Laden is planning a televised suicide or, as I call it, hosting the Academy Awards.