We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.

Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China and said, 'We need one of these things around the White House.'

I don't know what they are protesting at Occupy Wall Street but I'm on their side. But 10,000 protestors and one Porta Potty?

How would Trump travel as president? Obviously, he'd use Hair Force One.

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

A small handgun makes any TV remote control.

Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.