St. Patrick's Day is the fourth biggest drinking day in America. It's not the biggest. It's right behind New Year's Eve, Fourth of July, or any Secret Service party.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, everybody loves them. But I thought this was interesting on the box, 'Konsult Kardiologist.

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn't that odd?

Do good things for other people.

Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.

Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.