St. Patrick's Day is the fourth biggest drinking day in America. It's not the biggest. It's right behind New Year's Eve, Fourth of July, or any Secret Service party.

This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, 'May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

Are you excited about the recall election? Arnold's campaign has a new slogan: 'Win one for the groper.'

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.

It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.

Do good things for other people.

Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.