Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.

You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.

Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.

Hillary Clinton could use one of these Apple Watches. She could hook it up to her secret email account. If you want to contact Hillary, she's at hillary@pantsuit.com.

About half an hour before air time - that's when I become hyper. I put everything else out of my mind and just let that nervous energy surge through my body. I start talking faster and louder. My confidence comes up. It's actually a great feeling.

CIA Director George Tenet has now testified before the 9/11 commission and he said we are still making the same dumb mistakes, like leaving memos on the President's desk.