You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this holiday season, no Santa Claus. They're laying off department-store Santa Clauses. So more bad news for John McCain.

Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.'

Pepsi has a new Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew. No, we don't have an Ebola vaccine, but we do have the Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

After my bypass surgery I knew I had to change my lifestyle, and then it occured to me - I don't have a lifestyle.

Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.

John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn't that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?