John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go.

The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.

During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.

President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.

Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.

Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants.