John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go.

We thought New York City was home to 8 million rats. Turns out, that's a little high. The actual number is 2 million rats. That explains the light turnout for the midterm elections.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.

Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife.

Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.