There are so many flavors of Coke now - Coke with lemon, Coke with vanilla, Coke with lime, Cherry Coke, and they've just brought out another new flavor - Coke with Pepsi.

The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash.

You can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.

I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.

It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

Mitt Romney is running for president again. That will be attempt No. 3. Well, everybody needs a hobby. He's almost certainly running, and I'm almost certainly retiring, so I don't care.