Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.

President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.

Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. Republicans won in a landslide.

How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.

They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. And Hillary said, 'I'm available.'

New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.

Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.