Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.

Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.

Kim Jong Un's sister got married. That sounds like another Seth Rogen movie, doesn't it?

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

Here's some news from Afghanistan. We're sending more troops to seal up the borders. Can we try that here? Three months, 12,000 pounds of bombs and billions and billions of dollars and the highest ranking enemy we've captured so far is an American.

I've had nothing but great friendship to help me through this.

The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?