Today is Veterans Day. Thank you to all our men and women who have served the United States armed forces. In honor of Veterans Day we are marching out a few jokes that have already served.

I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.

Kids in Washington every year have the big Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. The kids found 300 Easter eggs. They also found about 10,000 missing Hillary emails.

This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.

Tomorrow is Election Day. It's what they call the midterm elections, and you can cut the indifference with a knife. It's the day Americans leave work early and pretend to vote.

You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.