Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.

Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.

Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.

Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person.

My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.

And tar is washing up onto the beaches - big globs of tar. And people are saying, 'Is that going to ruin our summer at the beach?' No, of course not. You take the big blobs of tar and you use them to hold down your blanket.

Happy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with guacamole.