Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them.

The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash.

I think the number one public-relations blunder Osama has made is that he lives in a cave-fortress and if there's one thing we've learned from it's that you can't trust a guy who lives in a cave-fortress -- Lex Luther, Captain Nemo, Dr. Evil. I'm telling you the list goes on.

Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.

Life experience is the best teacher.

Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.

The Russian economy is tanking. It's gotten so bad that today Vladimir Putin had to pawn his stolen Super Bowl ring. And Putin will finance his next invasion on Kickstarter.