Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them.

The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.

President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'

Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.

John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president.

Stocks are at an all-time high today. I don't have any money in the stock market. I don't have the stomach for the ups and downs. So about 20 years ago I put all of my money and liquid assets into videotape rewind machines.

Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.