Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them.

Well, the manhunt continues for that elusive evil mastermind, but I'm telling you Enron CEO Kenneth Lay remains at large.

Love: You can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun.

Pope Francis is going to go to Washington, D.C., to address Congress. He believes the New England Patriots have been deflating his giant hat.

One of the remarkable things about being 19 is that you can break open a case of warm beer at midnight and still be wide-eyed and alert for your eight-a.m. class. And that gave me the false impression that my life would always be like that.

Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife.

The new CIA torture report is 6 million pages long. It's almost as long as a George Clooney pre-nup.