And tar is washing up onto the beaches - big globs of tar. And people are saying, 'Is that going to ruin our summer at the beach?' No, of course not. You take the big blobs of tar and you use them to hold down your blanket.

It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.

They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.

Critics of the Wall Street protesters claim that they have old ideas, nothing new, and they're never going to work. Wait a minute., that sounds like this show.

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.

Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants.

John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.