Tomorrow is Election Day. It's what they call the midterm elections, and you can cut the indifference with a knife. It's the day Americans leave work early and pretend to vote.
David LettermanToday is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of recycling is going on this year. For example, Bushes and Clintons.
David LettermanLadies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
David LettermanNight clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
David Letterman