All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

The mayor of Sochi is now saying that there are no gay people in Sochi. So the only thing that is flaming over there now is the Olympic torch.

Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he is sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that.

In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?

Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit.

Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.