Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn't that odd?

People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.

Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.

They found a cave once lived in by Osama bin Laden and the only thing in the cave were some boxer undershorts, and macaroni. I'm telling you, you add an old stack of Playboys, this could be my place. It's like I have a twin.

Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. Republicans won in a landslide.

Remember evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin? He vanished for 10 days. He had disappeared and there were a lot of rumors. One rumor was he had disappeared because he had himself executed.

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'