Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions.

Some Secret Service guys crashed a car into the White House. And they had been drinking when it happened. Actually, they hit a barrier trying to get to the White House. It's the same thing that is happening to Hillary.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

What a day. It's 53 and gloomy - like President Obama.

They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.

Life experience is the best teacher.