Today is the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address. President Lincoln wrote it on his way to the site of the speech on the back of an envelope. One guy on the back of an envelope wrote the great Gettysburg Address - while every night it takes six guys to write this crap!
David LettermanThe general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years.
David LettermanHere in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.
David LettermanI think you can use some of those words on TV. But one thing you can't do is throw coffee, I've said it over and over again!
David Letterman