I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

According to the recent polls, Bush has a slight lead over John Kerry. So today, Bush hung a banner over the White House saying, 'Mission Accomplished.'

You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.

Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads!

The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?

In Hollywood, Oscar is king.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.