The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has new balloons this year including the Pillsbury Doughboy balloon and the first openly gay balloon. Also the Thomas Tank Engine balloon, and they even have the Ebola nurse balloon.
David LettermanHappy Cinco de Mayo. In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with guacamole.
David LettermanNewt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses. Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.
David LettermanThere's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.
David Letterman