Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life.

But Champagne is not drinking.

A philosopher once noted that people long for immortality but run out of things to do on a rainy afternoon.

Going to war was the only unselfish thing I have ever done for humanity.

I enjoy reality as much as the next man. It's just that in my case, fortunately, reality includes a good stiff belt every now and then.

Watching too much TV can triple our hunger for more possessions, while reducing our personal contentment by about 5 percent for every hour a day we watch.

I've been lucky enough to win an Oscar, write a best-seller - my other dream would be to have a painting in the Louvre. The only way that's going to happen is if I paint a dirty one on the wall of the gentlemen's lavatory.