Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, "That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible."

I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.

Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

Spent most of the summer looking for shade. Driving around. Shade. Please? Driving in malls. I'll park a mile away I don't care. I'm just looking for a tree branch, anything. Long weed. Big leaf, get the front corner panel under it. Oh precious shade, I have it - you don't!

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.