My career is just kind of crazy.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.

MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.