My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.

To be famous and broke is hard.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.