When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.

The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.

I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.

Return to me, for my heart wants you only. Hurry home, hurry home, won't you please hurry home to my heart.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!

We try to find chemistry; we don't do a lot of situational baseball.

The thing I notice first about a woman is her walk. A beautiful woman is like a race horse-slim, sleek and with a beautiful carriage.