With his blessings from above, serve it generously with love. One man, one wife, one love, through life.

Brother, you can't go to jail for what you're thinking, or that look in your eye, just standing on the corner watching all the girls go by.

The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.

The thing I notice first about a woman is her walk. A beautiful woman is like a race horse-slim, sleek and with a beautiful carriage.

I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.

Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that's why his last wife left him.

I know it's the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I'm no gentleman.