But if you parry individuals points - a negative and defensive enterprise - you never step back and actively imagine a world in which a different system of ideas could be true - a positive act.

[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they're so busy trying to win the debate.

For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.

All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.

The key to conversation at work is flexibility and understanding how what you say might be perceived by others.

Public discourse requires making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument - as in having a fight.

In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs the punches of all the others that have gone before.