You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it`s the NHL`s fault

Rosemary Rodriguez directed on Rescue Me for us, and I love her. She's fantastic with actresses and she's got a great sense of humor. That was a huge thing for me.

I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!

People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!

Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.

I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will.