I'm a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence.

When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.

I fell asleep during 'Year One' twice. And my son, who never falls asleep during a Jack Black movie, also nodded off. That's how bad it was. I was incredibly disappointed.

I have a lot of conservative views on a lot of things.

I had a relationship with an Italian chick that was built on just fighting and sex. As much as all women won't let go of stuff, Italian girls won't let go of anything. And she punched really hard. I got tired of the arguing it took to get to the sex.

I eat meat because meat tastes like murder, and murder tastes pretty dam good!