Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good - we want it Tuesday.
What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?
A counter tenor is anyone who can count to ten.
The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.
Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.
It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.