Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good - we want it Tuesday.
There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.
You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.
I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.
If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.
I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.