There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.

The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.

What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?

You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.

It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?