The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.

I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.

Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good - we want it Tuesday.

The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.