It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.

It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.

What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?

I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.

There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.