The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic.

How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?

Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.

A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'