American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

Now let me get this straight. Bush is anti-abortion, but pro-death penalty. I guess it's all in the timing, huh?

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.

And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah, that's coming down."