I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.

Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.

I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.