I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?
Dennis MillerWe need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.
Dennis MillerSomebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!
Dennis MillerA third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller