When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.

Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.