And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'

Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.

I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

Yeah, this country's founding fathers are a bunch of dead rich white men, but they did set things up so you could come and sit at the table, so don't piss in the finger bowls, all right? Thank you. In return for unfettered economic opportunity and no government death squads, try to get along with your new stepmotherland, and don't be resentful if there's a set of house rules already in place.