And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.

The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.

I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.

Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.

It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.