Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.

The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

Twitter! Never have lives been less lived and more chronicled!