What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.

If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!

And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah, that's coming down."

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!